As soon as I initially saw this word, it was like love at first sight.
Then, when I wrote this page, I got so linguistically excited that I went into listing and explaining all the rich connotations of panim, in Hebrew. It looked all good to me. But, when I asked my Grammar Nazi son to edit my work, he said: “What are you doing, dad? This is not a graduate level classroom. Flex your brain muscles somewhere else. Your potential clients want to know if they can connect with you at the heart level.”
Oops! It was humiliating, but he was right. So, I carefully rewrote it. And this time, I did it by carrying you in my heart. Here it is.
Panim is a plural Hebrew noun. It is usually translated face, but its actual form is faces.
- Taken literally, panim means face: your face, your image, your physical appearance. Or mine. Face implies identity. When we meet, in therapy, face to face (panim-el-panim), you see me and are being seen by me. You allow somebody else to know you, as you are. This is called the courage of vulnerability.
- By extension, as a metonymy, panim means presence. Showing your face to a therapy meeting is the result of your choice to be fully here. All other realities disappear. No distractions. For the time being, your body, your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings, your behavior – they are all fully here. And so are mine. Holistic presence is the essence of any successful therapeutic encounter.
- From here, panim also means alterity: the ability to face yourself while using me, as your mirror. The only way we know ourselves, recognize ourselves, and eventually decide to change ourselves is in a relationship. I am here to accurately reflect you, with all your scars and wounds, stresses and worries, desires and dreams, and to faithfully inspire, support and empower you to become the best version of yourself.
- Before you notice it, panim begets togetherness. You discover that you are not alone. By sharing your feelings, in trust and confidence, your problem seems easier to bear. Your journey is not solitary anymore. We are solidary in this. As Mr. Rogers put it: “Anything that is human is mentionable; and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.”
- And last, but not least, panim creates sanctuary, a place of safe and sacred haven. While I do not mean it in a mystic sense, I do know that, for most of us, emotional intimacy feels a lot like entering our inner temple, which is never empty. It’s the miracle of a spiritual presence joining any well-intended two or three people who travel together for the purpose of making themselves and their world a better place (see, for instance, Matthew 18:20 or Luke 24).
Consequently, until we will see each other panim-el-panim, “may the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord shine his panim upon you.” (Numbers 6:24).